Okay...it has been brought to my attention that I have once again neglected my blog. It's shameful really, but since I don't exactly have an army of followers I thought it would go unnoticed. Apparently I was wrong. The good news is that I've been MIA because life is going rather well and I haven't had any gripes to share. One thing that I have struggled with a bit is figuring out how to mesh my group of friends with my boyfriend's group of friends. To date, that hasn't been a very successful endeavor.
Let me start by saying that I was always a big fan of shows like Friends. I think that was because I really liked the idea of a tight-knit group of friends that are always there for each other. They spend tons of time together and yet somehow manage to get along and have a great time. The group of friends is small and they don't always take kindly to outsiders trying to get in, but they're all good people. When I went away to college I had visions of what my life would be like in the dorms or in my first apartment. It was supposed to be like my own version of Friends and it was supposed to be amazing. Reality squashed that idea pretty quickly.
In the dorms during my first 2 years of college, I had a single room, but shared the bathroom with half the girls on my floor (about 60 of us or so) - not exactly the embodiment of fun, especially when only one of the five showers actually worked well! Despite the bathroom predicament, life in the dorms wasn't so bad. It was a co-ed dorm (by floor) and I ended up making several good friends in my first and second years.
When I transferred schools and got my very first apartment, it was one of those places where you have a couple roommates but you all have your own room and bathroom while sharing the common areas. Roommate matching is an interesting thing. The first year I was there I had one sweet roommate, but she never liked to go anywhere. I also had one very selfish roommate, who actually caused me to say "f*ck you!" to someone for the first time ever. Needless to say, it wasn't quite the "Friends experience" I was hoping for. My second year in the apartment was slightly better, but I still wasn't very close with either of the girls I lived with.
Law school was the closest I came to the "Friends experience." I lived by myself, but about 95% of the people that lived in my building were law students too. Some of my best friends ever lived in the same building and we were constantly hanging out. It was an amazing few years...until we all had to graduate and go our separate ways. Since law school, I haven't really found that core group of friends again. The people I do spend time with are often married, or have kids, or have other obligations, so it's an infrequent affair. But when I do get a chance to reconnect with my law school friends, I'm reminded of how lucky I was to meet such a great group of people.
I'd definitely like to be more social these days, but now there's the added issue of trying to mix two friend groups. My friends and my boyfriend's friends are very different people. We've tried to combine the two groups on a couple different occasions but it ends up being like a high school dance with the groups divided down the middle and G and I flitting from side to side trying to include everyone. It's exhausting! Now, we typically end up just hanging out with "my friends" or "his friends" instead of all together. It's not ideal, but at least it's not awkward that way. Any suggestions for combining friend groups are more than welcome!
This weekend will be a night out with "my friends" for a Halloween party. I never used to be a big fan of this holiday, but the last few years have changed my mind. This year both G and I will be going as pirates. I have a pirate costume for my dog, Oreo, too, but I don't think we'll take her along. Speaking of Oreo though, I'll finish the post with this picture...her in her costume last weekend for Dogtoberfest at Metro Park. It was a blast!!! Notice how excited she looks to be wearing the costume.
Admittedly I've been absent. Very absent. Fortunately (or unfortunately), I don't have very many readers so I'm fairly certain I haven't been missed. As a side note, I still don't get how some people have so many readers/followers when the content they put out is a snore-fest. Perhaps my content is an even snorier snore-fest? At any rate, I'm back and I shall try to be better about posting. No promises though; I hate to break them and who knows how long my commitment to blogging will last this go-round?
Lately I've been struggling a bit with satisfaction at work. I've been feeling as though my efforts aren't always recognized and/or appreciated. But even worse than that, I feel as though not everyone else around me is putting in the effort their jobs require. It's not that I'm trying to be into everyone else's business; rather, many of the people that have frustrated me lately are actually people that I oversee and whose slack I have to pick up along the way.
For as long as I can remember, I have always felt driven towards success--even if that meant a lot of hard work along the way. I struggle to understand why that isn't the same for everyone else around me. When I'm faced with a task or challenge, I am going to give everything I have to make sure that it's not only accomplished, but also that the result is the best one possible. More and more I'm finding that I'm in the minority in taking that approach. Why is that? I don't think it's a generational thing (because there are plenty of people both older and younger than me that seem to be less motivated to achieve excellence/success). Perhaps it's a nurture thing? I was raised with very high expectations placed upon me. As I've grown up and joined the workforce, those expectations that others used to place on me are now the same expectations I place upon myself.
I'm also the person that tends to feel,
"If you want something done right, do it yourself."
That isn't the best mentality when you're in a managerial role because at the end of the day there are not enough hours in the day to do everything yourself. And if you try to do it all, you're probably going to go insane . . . or at least stress yourself out much more than is necessary. That's about where I am right now. I'm more stressed than I have been in a long time and I need to do something to dial that back. In an effort to get to a better place mentally, I've decided to take a couple days off and it'll be a 4-day weekend for me. To just have some time to relax and not think about work is sure to be helpful.
I'm still curious to know whether anyone has other theories on the lack of motivation that seems to be so prevalent in today's workplace. Thoughts?
Just a few more days until Christmas and I'm officially on my 4th day of this whole "vacation to nowhere" I'm on...and I'm loving it! Yes, admittedly it would be nicer if my boyfriend actually got time off for the holidays so we could spend some extra time together, but as a substitute this time off has provided a chance for some quality time with my family, particularly my mother. Yesterday we did our annual "big shopping day" at the surprisingly empty mall. I managed to finish up all my shopping, save for one thing that I will get at Target later today. Hooray for that! We'll likely go back next week to take advantage of the post-Christmas sales.
Yesterday was also my younger brother's 30th birthday. Talk about making us all feel old when the "baby" of the family has now left his 20's behind!!! Still, it was a nice chance to get the family together for dinner last night - something we only seem to get to do for special occasions anymore.
Today I'll be playing hostess to my mother and aunt...I guess my aunt has been bugging my mom about not ever seeing my house since I really moved in an decorated (THREE years ago) so today we're going to put that complaint to rest. Currently, the A/C people are here doing their bi-annual check-up of the system. Once they leave it'll be off to the store for me to stock up on supplies and perhaps a snack or two so I can be a good hostess later. That's a new role for me to play so I guess a little practice is in order.
Here's to another great day on my vacation to nowhere!!!
Okay, so yes...I've been beyond lax in keeping up with my blog (and yes, I realize I've started posts this way in the past!) but when things get busy this blog is the last thing on my mind. I hope that everyone reading this is having a great holiday season thus far though! Sure, Christmas music has been on the radio since before Thanksgiving, but it's only once we're into December that it really feels appropriate to get into the Christmas spirit.
So far I've been (and dragged my boyfriend along) to a masquerade Christmas party and a work holiday party--if there was a contest between the two, the masquerade party would have won hands down. It's not that the work party was terrible, the company we were with was great, it's just that the party committee tried to implement a group game that was a total bust and completely killed the mood. Plus, only giving everyone two drink tickets (regardless of if you were bringing a guest or not) was a buzz kill...no thank you to the $6 domestic bottles!
This year is also the first year I've had a Christmas tree at my house. My family has always been an artificial tree family, but my boyfriend's family has always been a real tree family. In the debate-that-wasn't-really-a-debate, it was decided that we would get a real tree this year. (I'm still holding out hope that we'll do artificial next year, but I'm not too optimistic) I dubbed the tree "Steve" (much to the chagrin of my boyfriend) and we proceeded to make him beautiful:
As you can see, we didn't start off small with my first household Christmas tree. Nope. Steve comes in at about 8' or so and is quite full. He did turn out very pretty though and I'm kind of in love. :) I'm definitely looking forward to exchanging gifts and sharing quality time with family, friends, & loved ones in just a couple weeks. I'd love to know what you and your loved ones are doing to make this holiday season special so please feel free to share in the comments.
It's been a while - too long really - since I've posted anything
here. I'm going to have to shift the blame for that to someone other
than myself. Why would I want to blame myself? Silly thought,
that. Anyway, it's probably a combination of things that has kept me
from getting back to this blog. First and foremost would be my new
boyfriend. It's been a little over a month since we started dating and I
couldn't be happier. I think he put it best the other day...when
you're single, you get to a point where you're content and happy so it's
easy to forget how much happier you can be if there's someone
there to share things with. I'd had my eye out for a good guy to date,
but things just happened so naturally with this guy that it really
didn't take any effort to go from single and doing our own things to
intermingling our friends, activities, lives, etc. It always "happens
when you're not looking," right?
I've also had some not
so great things going on lately - namely health issues. It's nothing
life threatening, but it will affect my life for sure. I've known for a
while that I had an unusually elevated heart rate. 120 bpm is pretty
normal for me. I also have trembling hands from time to time. I was
keenly aware of how NOT normal that was when one of my friends who has
Parkinson's commented on my shaking hands. Not a great sign, hmm? So at the urging of both my mother and boyfriend I decided to get myself checked out. A blood test later and I was
diagnosed with hyperthyroidism - and a pretty severe case at that. The
doctor put me on a couple different meds for it...a beta blocker to slow
my heart, and another one to work to calm my thyroid down.
Unfortunately, my body had a really bad reaction to the thyroid
medication - my glands in my neck almost immediately (about 90 minutes
later) swelled up to the size of limes, my fever spiked to 101.5 at the
height of it, and I felt AWFUL! By the next morning, I still wasn't
better and felt awful so I spent 5+ hours in the ER trying to figure out
what was wrong. A CAT scan, chest x-rays, cultures, and blood draws (yes, multiple) later I was diagnosed with tonsillitis.
The
ER doc claims it was unrelated to the drug...I find that hard to
believe since it started to go away by itself before the antibiotics
were even in me. There's no way it was "coincidence" like he claims!
So, what to do now? I don't doubt my diagnosis...the thyroid issues run
in my family and a blood test is pretty accurate...but I also don't
really care for the doc that gave me the diagnosis. So, I'm in the
process of getting scheduled with an endocrinologist soon to see if I
can't find some meds that will work better for me. In the meantime, I'm
just taking the beta blocker for my heart and staying away from the
pills that gave me such a terrible reaction. Fingers crossed that I
never have to go through that again!!!
So that's
pretty much it. Now that I'm feeling a bit better I have the always fun
task of cleaning house ahead of me today. Thanks for reading and enjoy
your Labor Day!
Thanks for reminding me of Reason #428 why it sucks to be single. It sucks to be single because when something happens (like when an idiot friend tries to go all 'Dukes of Hazard' and slide across the hood of your nearly brand new Lexus...leaving behind a dent and several scratches) you don't have anyone to ask for help but your parents. Said parents are then sure to make underhanded comments about what an inconvenience you are...which only serves as a reminder of your sad, pathetic life as a single adult.
I'm sorry that my loser status negatively impacts your RETIRED lifestyle. I'm sorry that even though the two of you never go anywhere without each other, I'm still going to deprive you of one of your two cars for a whopping 2 days while mine is getting repaired. I'm sorry that this is just another example of the times it would really come in handy for me to have a boyfriend or husband to go through life with and who could help out in situations like this so it wouldn't affect you.
Believe me, oh critical parents of mine, it's not for lack of searching/trying that I'm single. If you'd really like for me to find someone I'm sure that I could go whore it up somewhere, get myself pregnant, and maybe land a baby daddy. Wouldn't that be lovely? Probably not. So I'm single? So what!?! Maybe instead of always saying you're there when I need you, you could actually practice what you preach without the guilt trip hanging overhead. That'd be great.
Sincerely,
Your Single Daughter with a Car in Need of Repair
Why is it that reality rarely ever lives up to perceptions or expectations??? When you first meet someone, it's natural to fill in the things you don't yet know about them with bright, shiny ideas of what they must be like, of who they really are. Because of COURSE you would only be attracted to great people, right? Unfortunately, (at least in my personal experience) once you find out the truth about that person, it's usually not half as good as the idea you'd begun to form in your head. And once that reality begins to set in, where do you go from there? Do you compromise your own "must have" list to bend to the reality of the person in front of you or do you chalk it up to another life experience and continue your quest for that white whale that's surely out there somewhere?
Ultimately, I suppose the answers to those questions depend on what end game you had in mind. Was this someone that you wanted to stick around for a while or were you just enjoying the moment and taking things as they came? For me, in this case, it was the latter - I was simply having fun and enjoying someone's company with the knowledge that it was definitely not a long-term thing. Still, taking the shiny off has made me wonder whether I even want a summer fling. I can't go back and unlearn/unhear the things I've learned/heard, but do they really even matter in the case of a fling? I really don't know. I think they might. It doesn't matter how attractive (hot even) you are...if you're an asshole to other people (even if I'm not the one on the receiving end), that's a really ugly trait.
Why can't people just live up to my unattainable expectations??? :)
For the longest time, I felt younger than my age...despite teasing jokes from close friends (since I started law school a few years after being in the working world, I was always the "old" one in the group. It's probably a good thing that my friend Marquis isn't a follower of mine on here since he LOOOOVES to reuse his jokes about my age whenever he can). I always laughed it off though because I was feeling good - and looking younger than the majority of them anyway!
Unfortunately, in the last week or so, I haven't been feeling so great. My knees were hurting a bit before my kickball game last Thursday but by the time I woke up on Friday morning it was all I could do to move my legs and get out of bed. Honestly, each step is still painful. Walking up or down stairs is like having someone jam a screwdriver beneath my kneecap and twist it around with each step I take. Yesterday at work, I let a student go past me on the stairwell so he wouldn't have to wait for me to get up the stairs at the snail speed I can manage. All in all...no bueno!
Considering the fact that this happened a few months ago when I started playing tennis again I decided not to mess around this time. So on Thursday morning I'll be heading to an orthopedic doctor (the one that re-broke my toe for me last Fall) and hopefully he'll be able to tell me what's going on and what exercises I can do to strengthen the muscles around my knee to hopefully avoid this in the future. I know I'm getting older, but this is ridiculous!
Quite possibly the longest blog title ever...and a quote from one of my favorite movies of all time! But seriously, the time has been flying by. Things have been a little crazy in my dating life, but I won't bore you with details of that. Suffice it to say that it's easier than you'd think to acquire a semi-stalker, while intellect is important it cannot make up for zero personality, and most notably, it's nice to be the girl envied by other girls instead of being the one turning green with said envy. Yes, that means that I "got the guy" this time around. Yay!
Things really are busy. While I feel like everything is flying by, I'm having a great time and haven't been this happy in a really long time. And that's still true after finding out I have to replace my A/C entirely - goodbye, $6,300.00. My weeks seem to fly by since I have so much going on. Mondays and/or Tuesdays are nights to meet up with friends for dinner. Wednesdays are trivia night (1st place victory tonight!!!). Thursdays are kickball and the post-kickball party (my team may be the bad news bears kickball team but we truly DOMINATE at flip cup!). And then it's the weekend - filled with more time with friends and hopefully some weekend trips coming up.
All in all, there's nothing to complain about socially. Work has been a bit tough lately (and more stressful than I'd like) but at the end of the day there are more positives than negatives so I just go with it. How are you doing? Are you excited about the summer? Any fun plans???
No, "blogging" is not a substitute for an alternative bad word like Cee Lo Green does in 'Forget You':
Rather, I've simply been MIA from here for a while now. Fortunately, I have a good excuse - I've been on vacation!!! Yes, that does nothing to account for the other few weeks without writing but cut me some slack, please. With the semester winding down, this past month has been crazy busy at work. Bar prep is just around the corner so these next few weeks are my chance to catch up on everything that's been neglected for the past few months.
On to more interesting things...my vacation! Every 2 years or so my family tries to do a big vacation together. Our last one was to Aruba two years ago. This time it was off to St. Kitts with my parents, brothers, and older brother's wife. There aren't a ton of resorts on the little island (just 68 sq. miles), so we stayed at the Marriott Beach Club:
That was a stock photo pulled from the internet...the rest will be photos I took myself on our trip. We stayed in one of the little condos/villas instead of the hotel part. The hotel was very nice while the condos themselves were a bit outdated, but not too bad. With plenty of places to eat on site, you wouldn't even have to leave the property if you didn't want to...but we definitely got out to see a bunch of the island. They had a replica of the Nina, one of Columbus's ships, that was 50% of its actual size. Let me tell you, that 50% was small! If I had to cross the Atlantic on such a tiny ship, I would probably die from puking my guts out! Here's a pic of the ship:
Prior to our visit, I didn't know much about the island. It didn't take long to realize that there are basically two classes: the very, very wealthy and the very poor...the latter of which was in the majority. St. Kitts was the home of the first French and British colonies in the Caribbean. Sugar cane used to be the main industry on the island, but when St. Kitts (and its sister island, Nevis) gained independence in 1983, the industry suffered greatly. Without the British government to subsidize the sugar cane production/exportation, it began to fail. In 2005, the state-owned sugar industry was shut down and the population had to seek new means for survival. The solution was tourism...and in just two years (from 2007-2009) the number of visitors increased by about 40%. I'd be willing to bet that in a decade or so, the island will look completely different than it did on our visit. So here's how my trip went...
When we arrived on the island on Sunday afternoon it was a good thing our plane was able to stop because the end of the runway wasn't very far from the ocean's edge. Unfortunately, my luggage never boarded the plane in Miami so while the rest of my family was able to get cleaned up and change into something different, I wouldn't be able to do that until Monday evening. (Yes, I know I should learn to put a change of clothes and clean underwear in my carry-on...esp. since this isn't the first time I've lost my luggage) Here's a pic of me with my sister-in-law on the beach the day we arrived:
That's not a brown bagged adult beverage in my hand...it's bug spray in there! The resort had a casino on site so usually we spent a little time there every evening. I escaped the week only down about $80 - not bad for a week of roulette and free drinks!
On Monday morning, we decided to take an ATV (4-wheel) tour of the island. Before we left, we specifically asked the resort's activities director if we would get very dirty. He assured us we wouldn't. That bird was a liar! None of us have ever done the whole ATV thing before so we were pretty excited (and blissfully unaware of the filth to come).
See? All clean in that picture. The tour itself was a lot of fun - great scenery all around and it was really fun to fall back from the group a bit and then floor it to catch up!
The first picture above shows some of the dirt kicking up on the trail. The second is one of the many abandoned sugar mills on the island. This next picture is embarrassing, but it perfectly shows just how dirty we got on the ATV's:
How gross is that??? I literally have a dirt unibrow going on! That evening, I bought a pair of shorts and borrowed my Dad's t-shirt just to have something clean to wear...
On Tuesday, we took a "scenic railroad" tour of the island. It was a rather long trip and not incredibly exciting. I did enjoy the (sort of) free pina coladas they served on board. And it was a good opportunity to snap some nice pictures of the island:
The second shot above is one of my favorites from the trip. After the train tour, we took a cab up to Ottley Plantation for lunch. Though it was a bit hazy over the water, the views from the terrace where we had lunch were stunning. Then again, finding a beautiful view on that island wasn't very difficult.
The next day, Wednesday, four of us decided to go on the horseback riding tour through the rainforest. If you know me at all then you know that I love horses. I grew up with them and every time I go on vacation I try to do a horseback riding trip. In Aruba a couple years ago that was easily my favorite activity. It was a little different this time around. First of all, the horses were not in the best shape and were very small. I mean VERY small. How do you know your horse is small? If you stand next to it and your legs are longer than the horse's legs, it's prbaby a small horse:
Before we started our ride, the guide asked if we wanted a group shot. Of course we did! The picture we got back was a little less than complete...yet absolutely hilarious. Here it is:
Thursday was a day for zip-lining. I've never been, but my brothers and father have gone a couple times. Previously I was self conscious about my weight, but now that I've lost quite a bit I was comfortable taking on the zips. It was easily my favorite activity of the entire trip. Our guides were both really fun and personable and went by the names String Bean and Budweiser. What a great pair of guys:
The set-up was great and the harnesses kept you feeling very safe and secure (definitely a plus when you're about to be zipping 250 ft. above the ground!).
The feeling you get when you're soaring above the treetops was like nothing I've ever felt before. Beyond fun is what it really was. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a fun way to see a new place. The longest line was 1/4 of a mile long...so amazing! The only downside was be that it was too short. I would have loved to do some more zips!
That evening we took a walk along "the Strip" to take in the Caribbean side of the island for a change. None of the group photos were really great, but here is my favorite one from that evening:
On Friday, we took a cab to the southern peninsula of the island to grab some lunch and search for some monkeys. Along the way, we captured this shot that shows both the Atlantic and Caribbean sides at the same time:
The island is said to have thousands and thousands of green vervet monkeys everywhere. Until our second to last day there, all we kept hearing was, "This is usually a great place to see the monkeys but they don't seem to be out today." That was very frustrating! After lunch we went to Shipwreck Beach - a place that usually has wild monkeys since they feed them sugar cane. Happily, we FINALLY got to see some monkeys there!
As you can see, based on the number of pictures posted, I was really excited to finally see those little monkeys!
On our final full day on St. Kitts we just did a little shopping in the town where cruise ships come in. At the end of it all, this was another great trip filled with fantastic memories!
Admittedly I've been a bit lax in posting here...and considering the fact that I fell asleep on the couch at 8:45 tonight, my guess is that part of the reason is because I've been super busy and pretty tired. So here's a quick recap of my life of late:
1. I'm now 13 weeks into my weight loss journey and after a -4.2 lb week I'm down a total of 31 pounds! I really can't even believe it and I'm pretty stoked. It all comes just in time for...
2. My family vacation...which officially begins on April 24th (Easter Sunday). We're heading to St. Kitts and I couldn't be more excited about it. I love to travel, especially to new places, so this should be an amazing getaway.
3. Bar prep for the summer is (sort of) underway already. I've met most of my new peeps. There's just one lone person that I have neither met nor heard from to schedule a meeting...slacker anyone??? The rest of my peeps are awesome though and I'm looking forward to a summer spent helping them out!
4. After some issues with one of the extras I purchased with my new car, my baby is FINALLY home with me and looks beautiful. She's been away from home so much though that I don't even have quite 300 miles on her in the 15 days she's been mine. I'm looking forward to spending plenty of quality time with Vixen.
5. Ten days ago, I celebrated another birthday. I was happy to be able to spend the evening before my birthday with some great friends - I'm thankful for all of them in my life. All in all, of late I've been able to reach a "satisfied" mental state that had seemed to elude me for a while. Here's to hoping my happy outlook will be a gateway to more great things in my life.
And that about sums it up. I hope that everyone out there is healthy, happy, and well-loved. Have a great rest of the week! xoxo
My relationship with Jacksonville is a love-hate one. I love that my family is here so I can see them whenever I want. I hate that very few of my friends live here. I love my job, my house, and my dog. I hate that I don't have as much of a social life as I'd grown accustomed to in Orlando (which sort of goes along with my first "hate"). And so on and so forth. Still, at the end of the day I'm pretty happy here so I can't complain too much. Plus, friends are just a short(ish) drive away! For the last couple weekends, instead of having to drive anywhere to see friends, I've been lucky to have them come to me.
Last weekend, my best friend from law school came up for the entire weekend (and he's the one I blame for my "first good burn of the season" when we lounged by the pool a bit too long). Within 10 seconds of his arrival, it was just like old times. If you can find a friend with whom it's always easy and comfortable to talk or hang out, no matter how long it's been that you're apart, then you should hang on to that friend because they're a rare find. C is one of those friends for me. We've known each other for about 7 1/2 years now but we've lived in different cities for the last 3 1/2 of them since I moved back up to Jax.
Our mutual friend, A, also came down for a night. While I was hanging out with them, I started to think about how easy it really was to pass the time. Even though we're in different cities, have different friends, do different things, etc. it was never the least bit difficult to have a great conversation. In comparison, on the few dates I've been on recently, I've been struck by how difficult it can be to carry on a conversation with some people. I understand that it's different when you're first meeting someone, but then I think about the people that are fixtures in my life and realize that it was never that difficult to talk to them - even when we first met. It's just food for thought...
Anyway, before C & A left town, we grabbed brunch at Sun Dog...after which I was coerced into participating in a silly photo...which I now love. I mean, how can you not love a friend that convinces you to ride one of the local jaguars with him? Guess that's why I love A. Here's evidence of our morning shenanigans:
So that was last weekend. This weekend that's wrapping up was just as fun. On Friday, I got together with a bunch of local peeps for a moving away party for one girl. It was a nice excuse to get everyone together for a few drinks and good times. You'd think that with all the essays I need to review for work that I'd tone down the rest of the weekend. Instead, last night was one of the best nights I've had in a long time.
I have another friend, B, from law school that lives just down in St. Augustine. Unfortunately, despite the fact that we're not really that far from each other, neither of us has done a great job of staying in touch and seeing one another on a regular basis. Well last night, we finally followed through on a plan to see each other. At this point it had been about 23 months since the last time we randomly ran into each other down in St. Auggie. B came up to Jax this time and we headed down to the beach for dinner and a few drinks. I'm not kidding when I say I haven't laughed that much in a really long time. Once again, even though we hadn't seen each other in forever, we picked up right where we left off. Here we are at Caribbee Key:
About 3 minutes into the night, I think we both agreed that it was going to be an awesome night...and then cursed ourselves for letting so much time pass since seeing each other last. But hey, we pinkie swore that we WILL get together more often and everyone knows that pinkie swears cannot be broken. Besides, if someone that cute lives that close and wants to hang out, why would I say no?
Anyway, enough rambling...these past two weekends are how weekends should be. Fun! Winning! (couldn't resist that) Here's to hoping that your weekends are just as great. What have you been up to???
Once again, I'm late on the update on here. This week has been a little insane at work since we have a new guy starting on Monday so everything needs to get prepped for that; with everything else on my plate, it's just been a rough week. The previous weekend was a lot of fun though. My best friend from law school came up from Orlando for the weekend and another friend of ours came down for a night from Fernandina. I always feel fortunate when I get to spend time with old friends...especially when they're the ones that make it so easy to fall back into your old routine. It doesn't matter if it's been weeks, months, or even years...some friends will always be great friends.
After a weekend filled with fun in the sun, several adult beverages, and tasty food I was really nervous about this week's weigh-in. Despite my worries, it was still a 1.2 lb loss putting me at 19.8 pounds in total. Sweet!!!
Generally, things are pretty good in my life right now. Work is going well, I'm having the chance to get out with friends more, the weather is changing so more time outside is possible, and I'm feeling better about myself. Now if only I could manage to break out of the singles life and spend a little time with someone, that would be great! Unfortunately, the most recent setup/blind date was less than stellar and there aren't any prospects on the horizon. Surely there's a guy out there that would appreciate my intellect, wit, and fun-natured self, right? I just haven't met him yet...
Even when I was much younger, I typically wasn't one for all-nighters or even staying up super late multiple days in a row. As I've gotten older, that has become even more true. More often than not I'm in bed by about 10pm. (I know...hang on to your party pants, people!) Even on the weekends, unless I'm out somewhere, I'm usually in bed by 11 and awake by 8am. I'm not sure if that makes me incredibly lame or if it just means I'm a responsible adult. This weekend though, both Friday night and last night, I didn't get to bed until after 2am...the result???
I'm clearly not cut out for staying up so late and adding alcohol to the mix to boot! Yesterday, after a late night on Friday, I knew I needed to do something to rest up for the night since a going away party for an acquaintance didn't even start until 11pm. My solution was to take TWO naps during the day yesterday. (I'm talking serious, 2 hour naps...none of that catnap crap.) If you have to sleep an extra 4+ hours DURING the day just to prepare yourself for an evening out, you're getting old. Clearly I'm getting old!
In addition, aside from my intolerance for late nights, I also discovered last night that I'm also now that person at the bar wishing it wasn't so darn loud (and perhaps even complaining about the noise level). I've always loved music, and it's one thing to "feel" the rhythm of music in your soul...it's an entirely different thing to feel the beat of the music pulsing (literally) through your blood because your whole body is vibrating. That's how I felt last night. The dance floor vibrated to the beat, the sink in the bathroom shook with the noise, and my head felt like scrambled eggs sooner rather than later. When did that happen to me??? A little ringing ear syndrome at the end of the night was never a big deal in the past. Last night, however, for a good hour at the end of the night I found myself wishing/praying they could just turn the volume down a little bit. I've never been particularly good at reading people's lips and shouting in my ear at the top of your lungs so I can hear is necessary, but also painful. Ultimately, while I had fun with my friends it also gave me a headache.
Growing old isn't very fun and I feel like I need a nap already... *yawn*
For pretty much as long as I can remember, I've been fighting the so-called "battle of the bulge." There was a time in my life that weight wasn't an issue, but that was early grade school so I'm not sure that really counts. It started as a little gain each year - probably about 5-10 lbs each year - for several years that eventually plateaued at "overweight." For me, it became a vicious cycle: I wasn't happy with how I looked; to combat that depression I ate; my new, higher weight made me less happy about my appearance; I ate; and so on and so forth.
In the past several years, my weight has yo-yo'd a number of times. After initial success with Weight Watchers (hereafter "WW") in mid-2007, I hopped off the bandwagon too soon. The changes I'd been making had not become a new lifestyle yet and slowly but surely I began to add back the weight I'd worked hard to lose. I'm still a tad over 20 lbs down from my starting WW weight a few years ago, but once again I'm unhappy with my appearance. Worse than that, I don't like the way that I feel. Uncomfortable in your own skin is not the way to live your life.
So why this blog? I just read an article on 8 different amazing individuals that worked hard for their weight-loss success and each of them kept a blog at some point in their journey. Having an outlet to vent, celebrate success, and keep myself accountable will hopefully equal success on the scale and a victory in my battle of the bulge. I definitely don't have a huge following on here (so really, what do I have to hide???), but just the idea of someone else reading my journey, and perhaps sharing their own experiences/tips, is enough for me to put it out there. Plus, it will be a way for me to look back on everything I'm doing and see where I was and how far I've come.
My first step on this journey begins on Wednesday. They're starting a WW program at work. The convenience of the 12-week program added to my previous WW success made it a no-brainer for me to sign up. So step 1: get back to WW! I recognize that exercise will need to become a regular part of my life but for the sake of sustaining my quest for health, I'm not going to start everything all at once. I'm going to give myself 2-3 weeks on the WW program to get my eating under control and then I'll begin to add in regular exercise.
My goal? While I would like to say that losing 50-60 lbs is my goal, I know better than to set up that obstacle for myself. Therefore, my first goal is 10 lbs from my Wednesday starting weight. Once I reach that goal, I can confidently set another attainable one for myself. Rather than dreading Wednesday like I thought I would, I'm actually pretty excited about it. Let the journey to the new me begin!
An advance warning: this is a more personal post to help me work through some things myself, but insight/comments are always welcome so I decided to post publicly anyway. Here goes...
Lately I've found myself in a rather strange place emotionally. Ever since my last relationship fell apart with little to no explanation except that "long distance doesn't work," I've been struggling emotionally. And that struggle manifested itself in many different ways - not the least of which was in repeated hurtful tirades towards my mother. I'm embarrassed to say that it took me quite a while to see that the way I was behaving was not only hurtful, but also entirely uncalled for. Fortunately, a mother's love is one of the universe's most amazing things and I've come to be in a really good place with my mom again.
Why it took me so long to work through things, I'm not entirely sure. I place most of the "blame" on the fact that at about 1/3 of the way through my 29th year I'd thought I'd found "the one." And then about 1 1/2 years later things were over with him and I was left completely heartbroken. Wounds heal though, and despite the fact that I still think of him from time to time, I have healed.
I've never been the girl to go from boyfriend to boyfriend, relationship to relationship. While I honestly believe I have a lot to offer, I've been less than lucky when it comes to love. More than once, someone has joked that I must lack the proper pheromones to attract a good man...and they might be right! Despite my limited, true relationships, I'd always thought that surely someday Mr. Right would come along. I'm not saying that I don't hope that'll happen someday, but I've also come to accept the fact that it's not guaranteed either. And I'm learning to live with that idea...
I have a lot to be thankful for: a family that loves me, good friends (even if they don't all live in my city), a good job, a roof over my head, and arguably the cutest dog in the world (the picture was as a puppy...isn't she adorable?!?).
But I digress...I'm sure there are plenty of very happy, fulfilled individuals that made it through life without finding someone to share their life with, right? So that's what I'm trying to do. Instead of dwelling on the more than occasional bout of loneliness that comes from living alone with just a dog for company, I'm trying to focus on the good. I'm putting a smile on my face even if I don't always feel like it. I'm finding the friendship I'd lost with my mother. And I'm planning to LIVE life again! I have a passion for travel, but I kept telling myself that until I was with someone I wouldn't be able to indulge that passion. Well, screw that! This spring, there's a good chance I'll be heading to Italy and meeting up with a few old friends from high school. And while I'll be traveling there alone, when I meet up with old friends, I'll be reminded that a person isn't defined by the romantic relationship they have, but rather by the life they choose to live - their character and spirit that speaks to the world.
I promise to be more light-hearted next time, but thanks for reading! Here's to a revival of spirit!
