Dear Mom & Dad,
Thanks for reminding me of Reason #428 why it sucks to be single. It sucks to be single because when something happens (like when an idiot friend tries to go all 'Dukes of Hazard' and slide across the hood of your nearly brand new Lexus...leaving behind a dent and several scratches) you don't have anyone to ask for help but your parents. Said parents are then sure to make underhanded comments about what an inconvenience you are...which only serves as a reminder of your sad, pathetic life as a single adult.
I'm sorry that my loser status negatively impacts your RETIRED lifestyle. I'm sorry that even though the two of you never go anywhere without each other, I'm still going to deprive you of one of your two cars for a whopping 2 days while mine is getting repaired. I'm sorry that this is just another example of the times it would really come in handy for me to have a boyfriend or husband to go through life with and who could help out in situations like this so it wouldn't affect you.
Believe me, oh critical parents of mine, it's not for lack of searching/trying that I'm single. If you'd really like for me to find someone I'm sure that I could go whore it up somewhere, get myself pregnant, and maybe land a baby daddy. Wouldn't that be lovely? Probably not. So I'm single? So what!?! Maybe instead of always saying you're there when I need you, you could actually practice what you preach without the guilt trip hanging overhead. That'd be great.
Sincerely,
Your Single Daughter with a Car in Need of Repair
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Who would...? I don't even... Hood slide?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, that really sucks. Parents can be harsh and completely irrational. Especially when it comes to life's "expected" milestones. None of which, by the way, are even really necessary in this day and age. I mean, it's not like we're in feudal Europe and the only way that you'll have anything is if you marry someone with *land*.
I guess when it comes to that kind of behavior, it's really hard to see that they want the best for you. It's just more antagonizing crap.
Good luck!
Ha! Don't get me started on the stupidity of my friend...I'm not exactly surprised by his behavior, but it's definitely a pain in the ass to have to deal with the aftermath of his poor decision.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the well-wishes about my parents though. Basically, in order to have any way to get to and from work for a couple days I had to tuck tail and go crawling back to them with false apologies. I'm pretty sure I was *this close* to biting off my tongue when the expected responses started flowing again. Ahh, family.
Today's a new day though. Let's see what it brings, shall we?